I've puked more whiskey than you'll ever drink

I've forgotten more shit than you'll ever think

I kick more ass than Chingiss Khan

I'm an egomaniac running rampant on the man

Kiss my cynical ass you clueless motherfucker

I'll make sure I'm fucking your wife and your mother

Here's my fingers and here's my fist

Lay low the arrangement if you get my gist

The cream rises to the top I'm a dreg in the bottom

I met Abe Lincoln and I motherfucking shot him

It doesn't make a difference what anybody thinks

So what so where so how you blinked

Got fire in my eyes and blood on my face

Drop the green flag, bitch, so let's start this race

Hubba hubba hubba here comes trouble

Cut me some slack now don't bust my bubble

I come halfway around the world to fight

So let's get this party started right

----------

Once upon a time there was a punk ass Indian

He fucking pissed me off because he took all of my winnings

In an Alabama bar abutting Louisiana

So I followed that boy straight up through Texarkana

And some G-man chump out of New York City

My mission is seek revenge on pity

I say hubba hubba hubba here comes trouble

I'll reduce this town to smoldering rubble

Billy Redfoot, hell, he won my hyde

He got more than money, boys, he stole my pride

So I'm on his ass like a meth head on blow

Shit I followed them all down to West Mexico

Hell I even heard tell that he's headed to China

I'm on the pacific you know I will find a

Way to wreak revenge on theonly man ever

Laid claim to my crown as the best gambler ever

----------

I Lived in the shadows while I plotted my revenge

Every scenario of torture and pain

Pliers and razors and electric cables

Chains and hooks and bloody horse stables

Break every metatarsal with sadistic glee

Fill his lungs with gasoline and then light the sneeze

Dig my thumbs in his eyes 'til they're wet with goo

Sharp razors laced through his stupid shoes

Sulfuric acid to scar them legs

Then make him crawl and make him beg

The worst part's I might hurt my knuckles

The best part's I will watch him buckle

Hey there, boy, here I stand let me proclaim

I am here to remove from you all but your name

For the beating I serve up shall be more than blood

That spills from you like breath from a newborn and 'cause

You have ruined my life I shall extract your soul

From your life force and then I will highly extol

My instance as the man and then you as the bitch

So just give me the pliers so I can scratch this itch

----------

That bating that I threw down it almost took his life

It felt so good to see him cry right in front of his wife

So I admit it I just took her through a bag atop her head

Tossed that boy out like the trash top of the world, yo, I'm kicking ass

We got up to my yacht and then I said said she could go free

She said her husband's not a man why the only man here on Chin Pau's me

I got all of the money and I got that piece of ass

Fuck all day drink all night hey shit, y'all, let the good times blast

It's like I took my inner good and set that bitch on fire

I'm still a young man, as it goes, but hell it's all time to retire

I'll sleep on piles of money and I'll never be alone

It's amazing on the China Sea well shit, man, I'm finally home

Hey, baby, Daddy's home


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